FIRST DATE PREP 101

We love to talk about first dates and we also love to go on first dates - the butterflies, the anxiety, the excitement, and the anticipation. It is something you look forward to when you start talking to someone new, and not only talking, but also connecting with them.. You've got the logistics sorted—time, place, and maybe even a backup plan, Plan A, B, C and even D. But here's the kicker: have you thought about setting boundaries? Yup, we're diving into the nitty-gritty of pre-date groundwork to ensure you're stepping into that rendezvous with confidence and clarity.

Setting boundaries before a first date might sound a tad unconventional, and maybe even too much work (it isn't). After all, you barely know the person, and boundaries seem reserved for serious relationships, right? Wrong. It's all about ensuring you know where your comfort zone lies before diving headfirst into the unknown. So, let's unpack the what, why, and how of setting those all-important boundaries.

You are your own Boss: First things first, let's get one thing straight: your boundaries, your rules. No one else gets a say in what works for you. Boundaries are as personal as it gets, and you call the shots. Plus, they're flexible—what feels right today might shift tomorrow.

Consider Your Comfort Zone: Feeling a bit lost on where to begin? Ask yourself some very important and necessary questions. How long do you want the date to last? Are you cool with one-on-one hangouts? Do you want to meet in public or private (we advise the public for the first few dates), What's your comfort level with physical intimacy? (Consent is very important, and your no is no, no matter what). And hey, don't forget about the logistics—think about where, when, and how you want to meet up. Remember to hold ‘VEX MONEY’ and have an out for when you need it.

Then, there are the emotional safety boundaries. Think about topics you'd rather steer clear of and what you're comfortable sharing. Remember, it's all about safeguarding your emotional well-being.

Speak Up Before the Date: Consider this your golden opportunity to lay the groundwork for a stress-free date. Having a chat about boundaries beforehand not only helps you decide if you're game for that in-person meet-up but also ensures you're both on the same page. Feeling unsure about how to broach the topic? Keep it casual and low-key. Drop hints about your boundaries when making plans or gently steer the conversation in that direction.

But, Be Ready to Pivot: Plans change, and so can your boundaries. It's all part of the dating dance. If you’re a fan of the show FRIENDS, you should understand when to PIVOT. Trust yourself, and don't be afraid to adapt as the situation evolves.

Respect Is Key: Remember, boundaries go both ways. Just as you expect your date to respect your boundaries, you should reciprocate. Keep an eye out for signs that they're uncomfortable or hesitant, and be ready to course-correct if needed. And if your date isn't willing to respect your boundaries, consider canceling or excusing yourself from the date.

By setting clear boundaries and communicating them effectively, you're not just ensuring a smoother dating experience—you're also showing up for yourself in the best possible way. So, go forth, date, and remember: boundaries are your BFFs in the quest for love.